Trixie Guide to Finances

Contributed by Mackenzie Miller

For many Trixies, its just hard to exist on $45,000 a year, while spending $1,000 per month on an adorable pre-War bungalow near the Canal, a few outfits from Saks and trying to keep a Jetta on the road. But these items are important to Trixie Happiness. So therefore, we offer these key guidelines to make your life more enjoyable:

NOTE: Most of the situations described below expect that you have a boyfriend, husband or similar significant other. If you don't have one to call your own, stop now, go out and find one, and then finish reading.

1. If someone else is willing to pay, let them.
This works in many situations. Of course, when you're out to brunch with three or five of your best friends, who also are stretching their funds, you all have to chip in equally. But if you're out with co-workers, and one of them happens to be a manager or equivalent, you should expect them to offer to put the tab on their American Express card. They'll get reimbursed for it, because you did talk about work, right?

2. If you're out with a guy, make him pay.
If a guy is nice enough to hold the door for you, then he's nice enough to pay to have your company for dinner.

3. If at a bar, someone else always pays.
So, you're out at the Vogue or the Mineshaft after work with two or fifteen of your best friends/co-workers after a long day. Your pocketbook is running thin, because you just paid rent, your car and insurance payments ... and you're saving $200 for those new Pumps that you're planning to buy at Frankeys after your morning jog on Saturday. So what do you do? Any smart Trixie will know how to locate a small to meduim sized group of TrixieMales and charm them into supplying your whole group (or at least you and your closest, cutest friend Mandy) with drinks for the evening. Simple chatter about work and the Broad Ripple neighborhood works best, with a few comments about athletics thrown in for good measure ("Ohh! I just love to play volleyball with my old sorority friends at the park!").

4. When engaging in a financial transaction, always bring an attractive friend.
Let's say you're buying a new car, opening a bank account, or even buying a new condo. The first rule of thumb is to always bring along an attractive, yet quiet, best friend. This trick always works, because the guy on the other side of the desk is always going to give you better service and better deals when he has attractive Trixies in front of him (unless he's gay of course). You always thought you'd have a good opportunity to smile and make someone happy -- now you have the chance to get something out of it! This simple trick is even easier for the Trixie who practices the fine art of the fake smile. It doesn't matter if you're sincere or not -- this is a quick and easy one-time solution! You won't be seeing this guy around again (at least you hope you won't).

5. Always bring up your needs and desires at the best possible times.
You need a new bike, a new car, or a new Chanel handbag, but the pocketbook says no. Well, there is usually a quick and easy solution for the smart, on-the-ball Trixie. It's easy. Just know when to bring up subtle comments: At a dinner party where your boyfriend's boss or other influential parties are present, out to dinner when the waiter is at your table ("oh, thanks for the compliment on my new dress. I'm just waiting for Chad to buy me the matching Chanel bag and shoes!").

It's all good.


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