Dear Ms. Tucker-Stansfield,
I live in an area of Indianapolis that is far from Broad Ripple. I am embarrassed to say where it is, but let's just say it is to the south and west. There are only a few scummy Starbucks to visit in my area and I do so reluctantly.
I had a fantasy this morning that I would roll up the Vogue magazine I was reading and whack the gum-cracking lowlife girl who was sitting next to me across the face, then stand up, walk to the doors and scream, "I can't wait til I live in Broad Ripple and never have to visit this Starbucks with you smelly, rude lowlifes again!" then storm out the door to my Jetta.
I was also carrying two shopping bags full of stuff to donate to a charity we sponsor at work, in addition to my usual work bag, so the stuff was cumbersome. I had the bags setting on the floor at Starbucks in front of me, which kind of blocked anyone from sitting in the seat next to me. A young woman came in to order a skim-soy no-foam Latte and I could see she was pregnant, so I moved my stuff in order for her to sit down. As a reward for that, she popped, cracked and loudly chewed her cud, er, gum, for like 15 minutes!
Geez, that's the last time I do something nice for these ignorant people! I really, really can't stand them.
What should I do next time?
Sincerely,
Jenna
Dear Jenna:
Next time shop in Broad Ripple and visit the Starbucks at 56th & Illinois, where you can park and drive home in the luxury and privacy of your own vehicle.
When I was a younger Trixie In Training (T.I.T.) and lived beyond the boundaries of our Village, I had to visit some less desirable Starbucks. Your experience is not unknown to many Trixies who have pulled themselves up from the gutter and moved to Broad Ripple.
Just remember, Jenna ... a proper Trixie never loses her composure in front of other Trixies or important people. Next time, vent your frustration with a simple nasty glance. Or as you get up from your seat, you can accidentally whack the gum-smacking offender with your cacophony of luxury brand shopping bags. If all else fails, pull out your iPhone and call a friend to make dinner plans. (If you're low on minutes, just pretend to make a call).
As I often like to snarl, "No good deed goes unpunished!" The only good deed in my book is the deed to my Washington Boulevard 1926 Tudor :-)
Ashley
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