Monday, July 14, 2008

Unspeakable Horror - Disgusting Jetta Vandalism

Question:

Last week, I double-parked my brand new Jetta in the alley behind Rock Lobster on Broad Ripple Ave and I ran into La Bamba to pick up some tortas and a mini burrito on my way home from work. In the brief time I was in La Bamba, someone vandalized my brand new Jetta VR6. They shoved a condom into the "VW" symbol on the front of my car, and glued it into place with some sort of industrial adhesive. There was no way I was touching that thing, so I couldn't get it off. I had to get downtown, and since I think cabs are just too dirty, I decided to drive my vandalized car. I could tell people were staring at me, and laughing behind tinted windows.

When I arrived downtown, I saw a group of my boyfriend Chad's co-workers walking around, and they all burst out laughing. I jumped out of the car, and shouted that vandalism could happen to anyone ... and how would they like being a victim of a hate crime! I felt one of the guys was looking at my legs, so I cursed him and jumped back into my car and drove away. Ashley, can I sue the city for this horrible act of vandalism, and perhaps get compensated for not only the trip to the garage to get the car fixed, but for my emotional hardship as well? -- Laura S.

Answer:
Oh my ..... I really don't know what to say. This may certainly be beyond my legal capabilities. But Laura, I've seen many clients experience similar acts of vandalism in the city. Please try to understand ... that's what you get for living in the city. While you certainly don't deserve the financial and emotional burdens an incident like this may bring, you also have no recourse against the city or the Village.

However, I would suggest you file suit against whomever insures your Jetta, for at least two million ..... if not two and a half million dollars. Do not hesitate. You deserve it, after seeing the terrible damage you incurred, not to mention your emotional suffering.

I thank you for sharing today,
Ashley



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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Society Member Laura Samuels Reports Devient Sex Crime to Her Jetta in Popular Alley

Tuesday, July 08, 2008 - 5:06 PM

Laura Samuels briefly double-parked her brand new Jetta in the alley behind Rock Lobster as she stopped at La Bamba Mexican restaurant to obtain carry-out.

During her time inside the restaurant, witnesses reported seeing a "sketchy" man vandalize the new Jetta VR6. It is reported that the bearded male inserted a condom into the grill of the vehicle and glued it into place with a strong industrial adhesive.

"There was no way I was touching that thing, so I couldn't get it off," Miss Samuels told Detectives. "I had to get downtown, and since I think cabs are just too dirty, I decided to drive my vandalized car. I could tell people were staring at me, and laughing behind tinted windows," she continued.

"This type of disgusting behavior is unacceptable in the Village," Miss Samuels claimed. "I don't feel safe anymore after this! How would you like being a victim of a hate crime!?"

Multiple police reports have been filed in this matter.

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