The Trixie Table - Upland Brewing Company

The Trixie Lifestyle often includes exquisite dining experiences and brushes with some spectacular alcohol. Our village and outlying Indianapolis neighborhoods are literally overflowing with options to feast on world-class cuisine, and chase it with some of the best-crafted wines, beers and spirits known to man.

I recently left my job as Senior Content Manager for a major consulting company to pursue the Le Cordon Bleu Culinary Arts Program at The Chefs Academy. I have always possessed a God-gifted palate, and I am so excited to share my extensive knowledge and experience with those of you who may not be so fortunate!

From time to time as my busy social schedule allows, I will review a Village restaurant or drinking establishment from the uniquely BRTS perspective and report my experiences back to you. Additionally, being a wine connoisseur, I will from time to time give you the low-down on the best wines for any occasion.

Bon Apetite & Cheers!
Rory

Latest Reviews:

Upland Brewing Company

I recently ventured down to SoBro for a visit with my best friends Ashley & Amber to Upland Brewing Company at 4842 N. College Avenue. Upland has been receiving a great deal of praise lately from Trixies all over the Village so we thought we would stop in for a tasting and report the results back for the Trixie Table.

The area at 4800 N. College used to be a bit "sketchy" but with Trixie approved retailers and restaurants settling the area in recent years, this formerly risky area has become rather gentrified.

Wheat Ale
This wheat is a Belgian-style Wit Bier and the flagship of their brewery. It is spiced with organic coriander, chamomile and orange peel to be refreshingly light and tart. Amber had six of these right off the bat. Glad she's not driving her Jetta today!

Trixie Stars: I give this Wheat Ale **

Dragonfly IPA
With loads of malt and seven hop additions to make any hop-head happy, it has some serious teeth, but it's one of the most balanced IPAs you'll find anywhere. TrixieMales will be impressed with this IPA, but due to its exceptionally floral nose, Trixies of all levels should find enjoyment here too. Ashley became quite concerned that Upland may be using crushed dragonfly meat in the recipe for this IPA, but management assures us that this is not the case.

This beer is strong. It is like a rare, unstable gas that may ignite at any moment. Drink with caution. No more than five in one sitting are recommended.

Trixie Stars: I give this IPA ****

Helios Pale
Helios is a traditional American Pale with the hop bitterness you expect, but it is well-balanced by the finest Midwestern malts and crisp citrus overtones. My fiancé, Brett prefers pale ales and has been known to put a serious hurt on local supplies with his friends over baskets of greasy chicken fingers at Brother's on game day.

Trixie Stars: I give this Pale Ale **1/2

Bad Elmer's Porter
Many Trixies incorrectly believe that the key ingredient to this fine Porter is Elmer's Glue. After having three of these, I can definitively state that glue is "most likely not" an ingredient. A solid malt base balances this rad brew. This American Amber Ale with a little extra kick, courtesy of 100% American hops from the Pacific Northwest, would pair well with a traditional English roast beef or an Austrian pork shoulder with red cabbage and spätzle.

Trixie Stars: I give this Porter ****

Preservation Pilsner
A draft-only beer with all-German malt and hops, creating a traditional Bohemian-style Lager. This Pilsner will also please most charitably-minded Trixies, as 10% of proceeds go to land preservation efforts in Broad Ripple thus making it possible for more green space devoted to dog parks, picnic areas and jogging trails in the Village!

Trixie Stars: I give this Pilsner ***

Overall our experience was positive. Our server, Gretchen, however was the low point of our visit. She looked disheveled and crazy. Upland forced her to wear a German Bier-Garten costume and it was appalling. Her giant horse teeth were an odd color of citrine yellow and her eyebrows look like they were done by ZaZa Gabor. My advice to Upland would be to consider hiring more Trixie-like women if you desire to attract TrixieMales, like Brett, Chad, Jake or that hot real estate mogul Chaz Walters!

Drink up!
~ Rory


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Trixie Guide to "True Prep"

By Super-Trixie Brooke Fletcher-Eaton

Journalist Mackenzie Carpenter with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette wrote an article "Preppy, Straight Up or With a Twist" published recently. I spoke with my best friend Mackenzie last week by phone and we had a great conversation on the topic! She was even kind enough to mention our Trixie blog. So today I am putting the question to you: Is preppy making a come back?

In my opinion the term "preppy" has traditionally referred to people of a certain socioeconomic status. In particular, preppies are people who attended elite college preparatory schools. "Preppy has always been part of a certain set .... the people who 'summer' in Nantucket," says Susan Rolontz, executive vice president of the Tobe Report, a fashion industry publication. "For a certain customer, preppy is always there."

Well I don't know about you girls ... but I love Prep! At my college sorority, I was always trying to be the preppiest girl ... and if anyone out-performed me on a particular day, I was sure to smear catsup all over those clothes secretly the next day in her dresser drawers while she was in class.

In the 1980s, the preppy fashion trend was born out of duplicating the uniform of WASPs and New Englanders—khakis, Oxford shirts, ribbon belts and topsiders. But I would argue that the true preppy establishment buy into classics rather than trends, and don't change their lifestyles with fads. That’s not to say anything against preppy clothes as a current trend. I would never call my style preppy nowdays, but I love the big pony polo on my top that I'm wearing in this pic.

So is preppy fashion making a comeback? Of course living in Broad Ripple I don’t see it as a fashion trend. I do however keep up with fashions across the country and I do travel to the East Coast. I was also in Texas just a few months ago and I can’t say that I noticed a huge preppy resurgence. So what do you other Trixies think?

In my opinion, I believe that if you are a true Trixie preppy-prep .... well, then preppy never left us. The fashion industry just re-markets "preppy" every couple of years at J. Crew, Banana Republic, the Gap and of course, Abercrombie ..... and of course everyone then writes about it making a comeback ... which is just silly!

For some people it's just they way they live! Large old houses in Meridian-Kessler, lots of vintage silver, classic volvo wagons, pure-bred Labradors .... very understated, Broad Ripple classic, well-cut and well-made clothes that never lose their style. Not fads, not Labradoodles .... not lexus SUVs ... just Broad Ripple classic. Just Trixie.


Be Well ...
Brooke


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How Do I Endure a Starbucks in an Undesirable Neighborhood?

Dear Ms. Tucker-Stansfield,

I live in an area of Indianapolis that is far from Broad Ripple. I am embarrassed to say where it is, but let's just say it is to the south and west. There are only a few scummy Starbucks to visit in my area and I do so reluctantly.

I had a fantasy this morning that I would roll up the Vogue magazine I was reading and whack the gum-cracking lowlife girl who was sitting next to me across the face, then stand up, walk to the doors and scream, "I can't wait til I live in Broad Ripple and never have to visit this Starbucks with you smelly, rude lowlifes again!" then storm out the door to my Jetta.

I was also carrying two shopping bags full of stuff to donate to a charity we sponsor at work, in addition to my usual work bag, so the stuff was cumbersome. I had the bags setting on the floor at Starbucks in front of me, which kind of blocked anyone from sitting in the seat next to me. A young woman came in to order a skim-soy no-foam Latte and I could see she was pregnant, so I moved my stuff in order for her to sit down. As a reward for that, she popped, cracked and loudly chewed her cud, er, gum, for like 15 minutes!

Geez, that's the last time I do something nice for these ignorant people! I really, really can't stand them.

What should I do next time?

Sincerely,
Jenna


Dear Jenna:

Next time shop in Broad Ripple and visit the Starbucks at 56th & Illinois, where you can park and drive home in the luxury and privacy of your own vehicle.

When I was a younger Trixie In Training (T.I.T.) and lived beyond the boundaries of our Village, I had to visit some less desirable Starbucks. Your experience is not unknown to many Trixies who have pulled themselves up from the gutter and moved to Broad Ripple.

Just remember, Jenna ... a proper Trixie never loses her composure in front of other Trixies or important people. Next time, vent your frustration with a simple nasty glance. Or as you get up from your seat, you can accidentally whack the gum-smacking offender with your cacophony of luxury brand shopping bags. If all else fails, pull out your iPhone and call a friend to make dinner plans. (If you're low on minutes, just pretend to make a call).

As I often like to snarl, "No good deed goes unpunished!" The only good deed in my book is the deed to my Washington Boulevard 1926 Tudor :-)

Ashley

• Back to the "Ask Ashley" Column

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My Name is Too Common - Can You Help?

Dear Ash,

What should I change my name to? The name I have now is far too common. No one remembers me!

Respectfully,
Abbey Jones


Dear Abbey,

I suggest that you choose a name that is befitting your dynamic personality. If you’re a perky Trixie, try something like Abbey Marie O’Brien. If you happen to be a more dull, business-like Trixie, perhaps Abbey Monaghan would be better. Or, simply do like a few Trixies have done in the past, and name yourself after our cherished Executive Director, Abbey Kendrick O'Rourke.

But whatever name you eventually select ... wear it with pride and total Trixie-like aplomb. Remember, success is 70% confidence.

Best of Luck to you,
Ashley Tucker-Stansfield

• Back to the "Ask Ashley" Column

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Audi A4 Dilemma

Hey Ash!

My boyfriend got his MBA last year and bought an Audi A4 after graduation. Now I see that Audi has released a new version, so his car is no longer the newest body style. Should I be embarrassed to ride around with him?

<3
Lissy


Dear Lissy -

Yours is not an uncommon problem among Trixies in the Village, however it is easily solved. Just pretend that you are not aware of the better, newer Audi. Convince yourself that your A4 is the latest A4, and that your boyfriend's car is just as good as the redesigned Audi you see hauling that Trixie and her significant other in the opposite direction down Broad Ripple Avenue. Be sure not to lose your inclination to issue nasty glances, and before you know it, you'll be as confident as you used to be!

-Ashley

• Back to the "Ask Ashley" Column

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Frustration Over Jetta Factory Color Choices

Dear Ashley,

Hi ... my name is Chelsea and I am a new member. I live near 49th and Penn.

I'm interested in purchasing a new Jetta. I am torn between getting the "Burgundy Breeze" or the "Daylight Dream." Both colors speak to me, but the "Daylight Dream" matches most of my wardrobe. Can you help me?

Much Love,
Chels


Dear Chels:

I'm sorry, but VW doesn't offer those colors direct from the factory. Are you sure those are actual factory Jetta colors and not the brand names of your favorite feminine hygiene products?

Most Trixies choose black Jettas, as they match well with our leather jackets, Chanel bags, and iPhones. However, as you walk around the Village, you'll see more Jettas in a hot new color -- Galactic Blue. You may want to try this.

But either way, whatever color you ultimately select ... we suggest that you have your spa do your color to match your Jetta accordingly.

Best of luck!
-Ash

• Back to the "Ask Ashley" Column

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Who Wants to Marry Austin Collie?

Every Trixie in the Village knows that it's the dream of every other Trixie to marry the Colts star receiver, Austin Collie. Austin exhibits all of the traits important to today's Trixie: Prestige, Income, and Handsome Ruggedness. Our exciting feature profiles eight Trixies who would do anything to Marry Austin Collie.

"Who Wants to Marry Austin Collie??"

When we think of the NFL’s elite football team right here in our hometown, we immediately think of new Tight End Austin Collie. If you're like most Trixies, you go to “The Luke” to socialize with your friends and coworkers, to avoid a Sunday afternoon of doing laundry, and to feast your eyes on all the hunky players... forget the game itself. Of course, the one constant known to most twenty-something Trixies is Austin Collie. If you happen to glance at the field at just the right time, your eyes will feast on this blond hunk of a man. His beauty is never-ending; most of us just can't get enough of him. For many of us, a trip to Lucas Oil Stadium is like cyber-cheating on our husbands and boyfriends, since we get to gawk at these hot guys, and fantasize about being married to one of them. Austin is an extremely valuable target to Trixies because he's still single, not to mention he's a hugely talented athlete who Payton Manning thinks about all week long ... an excellent alternative to the staid management consultant or attorney a girl might be dating.
Austin is known to hang out at many of Broad Ripple’s bars and taps. If you're lucky, you'll knock into him someday, and he'll take you home and marry you. If you're already married, perhaps it will be time for a switch!

Check out the 8 lucky Trixies we interviewed recently at Starbucks!

• Chrissy Gilbert
• Erin O'Donnell
• Melinda Thompson
• Anne Roberts
  
• Samantha Bennington
• Kate Martin-Conners
• Erica & Emily Stratton
• Jennifer Block

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Kate Martin-Connors - Future Mrs. Austin Collie?

Name:
Kate Martin-Connors
Age:
31
Lives:
Kessler & College, near Binkley’s and Fine Estate Rugs
Car:
Black 2002 BMW 318ti coupe, with Notre Dame Alum sticker on back.
Job:
Currently interviewing.
Marital status:
Married to Jake Connors, who is Irish like me, hence the fact I took his last name so I could have a double Irish power name (being Irish means so much in Broad Ripple).
Works out at:
I play volleyball with a Club at the Monon Center in Carmel.
Favorite bar:
Binkley’s, of course!
Favorite bar to spot Austin Collie:
Does Austin hang out at the Blu Point? I just love their martinis, and the guys at the bar stare me down every time I'm in there. I think they find me cute.
Favorite musical group:
I love anything Irish!!! The Pogues are so raw. I can get my drink on to them.
Favorite Starbucks:
56th & Illinois next to Kincaid's and the Flying Cupcake.
Favorite Starbucks Beverage:
Tall Iced Chai Latte Mocha, with extra ice and extra mocha.
Favorite part of Austin Collie's body:
Well, if Austin were Irish looking, I would go for the eyes because that's what all my girlfriends like. But I think I really like Austin’s boyish ruggedness. He's just plain hot.
If I had Austin alone for 15 minutes, I would:
I would invite him over to a bar-b-que out on our deck. I just love where I live, and I know Austin would too.
Why should Austin choose me over the rest of the Trixies?
Because I'm Irish and I drive a Beemer, and I think my Notre Dame education is so much more superior than other colleges. I've got the triple-threat goin' on.
Dream marriage proposal scenario:
Well, I'm not too interested in marrying Austin because I am currently married. But I think it would be cool to have him as a friend ... or a flirty landscape guy. I'm sure he would really admire me, since I'm so cute, and I drive a Beemer and live in Broad Ripple and all. Besides, I think it's more influential to have an Irish husband, since being Irish is such a commodity in the Broad Ripple area. I really think Austin would fit in well with our friends, who are all successful attorneys and financial consultants.

Jennifer Block - Future Mrs. Austin Collie?

Name:
Jennifer "Jen" Block
Age:
34
Lives:
Buckingham & Boulevard near Butler Univ. in a cute 1925 bungalow
Car:
Mint green 2004 Land Rover Discovery
Job:
Media Maven for Borshoff Johnson, the best PR Firm in the city!
Marital status:
I am single. I've been holding out for that "special guy" -- and Austin would definitely suffice!
Works out at:
I really enjoy running on the Monon Trail, but I'm thinking about joining an underground elite yoga / pilates place in Meridian Kessler because they only accept a limited number of members and its VERY exclusive! I don’t think I should mention the name here. I don’t want to hurt my chances of joining.
Favorite bar:
I don't have a favorite bar or restaurant. I make it a point to stay different, because so many of my friends always go to the same places. So when it's time to go out, I hit the Internet to find out what places are happenin'... However, I always stay on College between 4900 and 6600 North and on the Avenue between College and Winthrop - the only civilized area of Indy.
Favorite bar to spot Austin Collie:
I'm indifferent ... just so it's in my well-defined "zone of civilization!"
Favorite musical group:
I love any rock group that plays at the bars, clubs and restaurants located in my favorite “Zone”!! I'm sure Austin would too! I love this really obscure band, Combat Rabbit. Do you know them?
Favorite Starbucks:
I like the Starbucks at Guilford & the Avenue, since it's in such a wonderful neighborhood. Nice artwork inside by the fireplace too.
Favorite Starbucks Beverage:
I get either a grande skinny extra-shot, extra-cupped latte with a dash of vanilla, sprinkle of cinnamon, sprinkle of chocolate, one equal, one sugar and one ice cube (to cool it off!), ...or a short coffee, black. Depends on my mood and which friends I'm with ....
Favorite part of Austin Collie's body:
How can you ask such a question? Every inch of Austin’s body is delightfully handsome.... and I bet his salary is equally as handsome!
If I had Austin alone for 15 minutes, I would:
I would use my special pull with the local media him to get him to appear on the WTHR 13 evening news. I bet Dave Calabro would just get such a thrill out of interviewing him. And Andrea, I know she'd be all over him in the hallway before the evening news ... I'd have to throw a body block. Andrea's a Big Girl!
Why should Austin choose me over the rest of the Trixies?
Because I've got so much going for me: I'm successful, I know what I like, and I know how to get it -- no matter what. Most of my friends are jealous of me, just for that alone. So Austin would be foolish to pick anyone else in the village.
Dream marriage proposal scenario:
Mimi Pearce on the WTHR 13 morning show would be out sick with the stomach flu, and I would use my influence with the local media to fill in up in the traffic helicopter. When I turned towards the pilot/cameraman, he would rip off a 'Mission Impossible-style' face mask and I would be shocked to find it was Austin! He'd interrupt my inbound travel times on I-69 and propose to me, 4,000 feet in the air!! It would be so magical. I would nearly faint as I screamed YES and reached for the "off" button so we'd have some privacy.

Melinda Thompson - Future Mrs. Austin Collie?

Name:
Melinda Thompson
Age:
33
Lives:
Shore Acres Apartments on Westfield, right near all the excitement of the Monon Trail and the Arts Center!
Car:
Green '99 VW Jetta, with racing stripes my boyfriend applied while I was not watching.
Job:
HR Assistant
Marital status:
I have a really great boyfriend, but like most of my friends, that relationship is highly negotiable when Austin is introduced into the picture!!! :)
Works out at:
Used to go to LA Fitness, but decided that was too gauche. I know it's a little expensive, but now I belong to the Four Seasons (sooooo nice!)
Favorite bar:
Chatham Tap on Mass Ave downtown, because it's just so comfortable and friendly, even though it is kind of in the gay neighborhood and not in Broad Ripple.
Favorite bar to spot Austin Collie:
I've never spotted Austin in a bar, but I sure would relish in the opportunity!
Favorite musical group:
I love all the music on 92.3, I just love that Brad Holz too, I bet you he is real cute and all.
Favorite Starbucks:
I'm pretty equal opportunity -- any Northside Starbucks.
Favorite Starbucks Beverage:
I don't care for coffee, but I go to Starbucks nonetheless to get bottled water. It's a great place to see and be seen!
Favorite part of Austin Collie's body:
I don't know a lot about Austin, since I just moved here from Michigan. But I did see him at a Colts game earlier this season. I didn't get to see him too closely, because I was waiting in line for the restroom every time he was making a big catch. He's famous. Isn't that good enough??
If I had Austin alone for 15 minutes, I would:
I would discreetly try to find out exactly how much money he really makes. You know you can't really trust the media.
Why should Austin choose me over the rest of the Trixies?
Well, I'm fun and I really know how to have a good time with all my girlfriends. Some girls I meet around here are just so boring and uninteresting. There is nothing worse than being ordinary.
Dream marriage proposal scenario:
Well, I like something simple. Austin would pick me up and take me to a local eatery. Maybe Recess on College or Mama Carolla's (I just love that place so much, it's just so cute!). Austin would spend some time telling me all about himself. Afterward, he would take me to the Red Room or Land Sharks, and would stand up on the bar and proclaim not only that he is Austin Collie and that everyone loves him, but that he loves me, and he would propose in front of all my Broad Ripple friends!!!

Erica & Emily Stratton - Future Mrs. Austin Collie(s)?

Name:
Erica & Emily (fraternal twins!)
Age:
25 & 25
Lives:
44th & Broadway in a cute duplex. How appropriate!
Car:
We have matching 2002 cream & black Mini Coopers
Job:
We both work MZD Advertising as Junior Creative Directors! It's such an exciting place to work!
Marital status:
We're both single. Since we do everything together, it's been tough finding matching husbands who also have enough power, stamina and financial twang to match our fast-paced lifestyles!
Works out at:
We both work out by practicing yoga at the Yoga Center on College just down from Naked Tchopstix and the Vogue ... it's such a great place, probably because of the neighborhood. The owners can be a bit stand-offish but that must be because they have the most centrally located yoga studio in the heart of all the action in our Village. They know they are at the center of it all and it’s commonly known you just don’t have to try as hard when you’re rocking it so well.
Favorite bar:
We like most bars, but the best is probably Northside Social up College near the Arts Center. I know everyone always wants to be there, but we know the owners, so we belong there.
Favorite bar to spot Austin Collie:
Northside Social, of course! Now we just need to get the word out to Austin so he will check it (us) out.
Favorite musical group:
We just love all the head-bangin stuff on X-103. Who wouldn't?
Favorite Starbucks:
We like to go to the Starbucks downtown on the Circle and order expensive drinks. We also like that one because we work downtown … and because it's impressive to be there right on the historic Circle, plus we feel some of our coworkers don't go to Starbucks because it's too expensive. So we feel more exclusive.
Favorite Starbucks Beverage:
Since we do everything together, we each order the other's drink, even though we drink the same drink! hehe. It's a double-cupped extra-shot vanilla no-foam chai tea latte with a sprinkle of Madagascar cinnamon … oh, and two equals. We just discovered starbucked.com this week, and we think that guy is a real jerk for putting up such an awful web site against Starbucks.
Favorite part of Austin Collie's body:
We both love his face.. He has just got the most handsome, dreamy face. When we look at him, it’s like watching a baby bunny sniff a tiny flower. (sigh)
If I had Austin alone for 15 minutes, I would:
Well, since we'd be double-teaming him, I suppose he'd have to tell us which one he'd choose. And that would be a problem...
Why should Austin choose us over the rest of the Trixies?
Because we're a lot more exciting than most friends we know. In fact, we know that Austin would just die to get a-hold of us, we're just so cute and all ...
Dream marriage proposal scenario:
Austin would meet us out at a Broad Ripple Starbucks for an evening, and we would all have an iced version of our daytime drink. We'd giggle as Austin would attempt to order two of our little concoctions, and then we'd change one attribute to our drinks half way through, before the clerk really understood what we wanted. We'd stand back and giggle, beaming with the excitement of knowing that Austin was with us instead of any of the other girls in the store. Then, once we got our coffee drinks, we'd find a seat in one of those big, overstuffed chairs (like we also have in our living room!), and Austin would drop the question! It would be soooo cool to have Austin propose to us in Starbucks, we bet that hasn't happened to anyone else! Of course, we'd have a problem if Austin only proposed to one of us ..... but since he played football at Brigham Young in Utah, that may not be so much of a problem.

Erin O'Donnell - Future Mrs. Austin Collie?

Name:
Erin O'Donnell
Age:
29
Lives:
Carvel Ave near Canterbury Park
Car:
2001 BMW 318ti two door with pop-up back
Job:
Marketing Wizard for a major Real Estate firm in the metro area
Marital status:
I just married a wonderful guy, but I would not change my name for him, I told him that's going just too far! I'm a professional woman, and I'm not giving that up for him. But for Austin, well maybe! I like the sound of Erin Collie.
Works out at:
I work out at the gym right down stairs from my work. The only time I leave Broad Ripple is for work, and the gym. Other than that, I never venture outside it's friendly confines, if I might steal that quaint baseball saying!
Favorite bar:
Well, I usually pretend not to like the bars, because I tell my friends that I don't like men looking at me -- that's what they teach you at the corporate sexual harassment classes ... but the truth is, I really love when guys savor me with their eyes! Rrrrrrrr
Favorite bar to spot Austin Collie:
I would rather spot Austin at one of Broad Ripple’s cute little bistros, like Yum Bistro, or that Taste Cafe over on College & 52nd. Oooooh .... or maybe at Zest!
Favorite musical group:
I pretend to like classical, because that's the "classical" thing for a lady to do. So in front of my friends I turn up the classical, but when I'm alone ... I really love to break out the acid rock.
Favorite Starbucks:
I like the Starbucks in Nora next to Whole Foods, because it's on the way to work. But it's really like still being in Broad Ripple, even though it's really on the fringes. Is Nora outside of the official Trixie boundaries? I don't know. Well, whatever.
Favorite Starbucks Beverage:
I always want it hot, but in the summer, they make it iced, often without asking. It must be all those frappuccinos that they make. There's all those girls that go in there just thinking it's trendy and to order a frapp. Give me a smokin' hot half-caff carmel machiato and I'm a happy camper.
Favorite part of Austin Collie's body:
I think the face is pretty darn handsome, but if you want to know the truth, I bet the legs are really wild too, even though I haven't ever seen them because of those football pants and pads the Colts wear, but you gotta know. Right?
If I had Austin alone for 15 minutes, I would:
Try to figure out if he's got what it takes to make a Marketing Wizard hummmm!
Why should Austin choose me over the rest of the Trixies?
I always knew I was more impressive than my friends, so since Austin is so suave and sophisticated, he would immediately recognize this too, I just know it. Many of my friends think they have what it takes, but they really don't have a clue!
Dream marriage proposal scenario:
Austin would pick me up in his Jag, take me down to Lucas Stadium and give me a tour of his locker. He might even snap a towel at my tushie like those boys probably do after games in the shower. Then we would head over a few blocks to the Canal, and we'd make out on the steps of the Historical Society. Then we'd stroll down the Canal Walk towards the Eiteljorg and the Zoo, just me and him. He'd pop the question and I'd say yes. No, I'd yell it! No, I'd scream it at the top of my lungs... so that all the single girls hanging out at the Zoo (just so they can say they have some meager level of culture and love animals) would know all about my secret: that Austin wanted ME!

Samantha Bennington - Future Mrs. Austin Collie?

Name:
Samantha Bennington
Age:
33
Lives:
Riverview Drive near Washington Blvd (I hop on Meridian Street driving to work every day--it's sooo convenient!)
Car:
A vintage 1986 Jeep Wagoneer with original wood panels -- What else would I drive?? All my friends have one!
Job:
Business Analyst at a tech consulting firm in Carmel, soon to be promoted ahead of that girl from Western Illinois. My IU education speaks for itself!
Marital status:
Single! Single! Single!
Works out at:
I really enjoy running along the river in the neighborhood! I'm a free spirit.
Favorite bar:
I just love all the bars in Broad Ripple, with the exception of the dirtier and less-classy ones. Well, any bar where there are handsome men drinking Heinekens will do for me! I'm sure Austin loves to hang out and drink a Heineken!
Favorite bar to spot Austin Collie:
I would love to spot Austin in any of the Broad Ripple or Keystone Crossing bars, but he'd have to be sipping a Heineken to get me really turned on!
Favorite musical group:
I love 96.3 (all my friends hate me for it! They think it's too "urban") and 99.5 ZPL.
Favorite Starbucks:
The Starbucks at the Fashion Mall. Nice shopping too!!
Favorite Starbucks Beverage:
Well, I don't like to drink coffee as it stains the teeth and plus I am “independent” and like to be different. So instead I drink tea. My favorite drink: Extra Tall Grande, double-cupped Peach Mango Tea with one Equal and one Sugar and a wedge of fresh lemon--and by fresh, I mean I want to SEE THEM cut up that lemon! (I'm not using some withered, old maid of a lemon in my drink!) In the winter, I like two ice cubes to cool it properly and in the summer I take it iced with a splash of hot water to keep myself from getting an iced tea headache!! If I'm feeling really frisky, I spice it up with some Bailey's, which I keep hidden in a flask in my Wagoneer. Shhhh!
Favorite part of Austin Collie's body:
I am so in love with Austin’s hot bootie! A man with such a hot Heinie should not be single!! I know he’s way younger than me … but he’s a Colt and no one will care at all!
If I had Austin alone for 15 minutes, I would:
I would tear off his clothes and ask him to play hide and go-seek. No, just kidding. I would ask him to do things a proper Broad Ripple Trixie does not say in public, thank you very much.
Why should Austin choose me over the rest of the Trixies?
Well, my Indiana University education has so much more prestige than all those other girls out there with undergrad degrees from petty minor colleges or even Purdue. Austin should like me just for that alone. Plus, I'm moving up, soon to be promoted to Senior Analyst, and I have a killer SUV and a real cute home on Riverview Drive. Oh, and I just love shopping at Saks and Form+Function! NFL players appreciate things like that.
Dream marriage proposal scenario:
Austin would propose to me. Isn't that enough of a thrill itself??? I would so cherish being in the players' wives club. I would sell my Wagoneer and buy either a Range Rover Sport or another vintage collectible … like maybe a 1948 Town & Country wood panel convertible. I grew up in a Connecticut family and we really appreciate our vintage vehicles. They are awesome to take "antiquing" on weekends. Well, then I would also be able to park right at the stadium on game day where the players park. I would be able to zoom through the crowds and lean on the horn as people scrambled to let me through, giving me the honor and super treatment I deserve. And all those girls with the low-end degrees, who only get to go to Colts games when they get invited at work .... well, I must say they would all simply die to be me!

Chrissy Gilbert - Future Mrs. Austin Colle?

Name:
Chrissy Gilbert
Age:
29
Lives:
Just north of 58th on Ralston - Broad Ripple proper
Car:
Silver 2000 Jetta VR6
Job:
Public Relations
Marital status:
I'm married, but I would leave my husband (a boring consultant dweeb) for Austin in a heartbeat!
Works out at:
The Jordan "Y" on Westfield, oh ... and I run in the neighborhood.
Favorite bar:
The Casba & Old Pro's Table
Favorite bar to spot Austin Collie:
Champps at Keystone Crossing!!
Favorite musical group:
Third Eye Blind rules!
Favorite Starbucks:
In Nora next to Whole Foods, I jet by on my way to the Jordan Y every morning when I work out.
Favorite Starbucks Beverage:
Double Cupped Double Tall Extra Shot No Foam Skim Soy Iced Vanilla Latte (hot in the winter!)
Favorite part of Austin Collie's body:
"The Package" .... of course!
If I had Austin alone for 15 minutes, I would:
I'd have him autograph everything in sight, just so I could have his autograph in my cube at the PR firm, and everyone would know I'm with Austin.
Why should Austin choose me over the rest of the Trixies?
Well, I originally came from Louisville, and (thankfully) escaped to Indy to try and discard my rural heritage. However, since Austin played football at BYU and came from a small town, I would really cherish not having to conceal the real me in my own home. God knows I have to do it everywhere else!
Dream marriage proposal scenario:
During the half-time at the Super Bowl, Austin would grab a portable microphone, walk over to my front-row 50 yard-line seat, and propose to me before a crowd of 80,000 fans (including all my co-workers from the PR firm). I would say "Yes!" and jump into his arms. He would carry me up and down the field while Payton Manning launched autographed football bombs into the cheering crowd as souvenirs, and then we'd exit through the team tunnel and go to St. Elmo's for my first wedding shower and everyone would have huge, medium-rare Porterhouse steaks, shrimp cocktails and martinis! All my co-workers would be so jealous of me! Everyone would!

Anne Roberts - Future Mrs. Austin Collie?

Name:
Anne Roberts
Age:
27
Lives:
Paxton & Guilford [right in heart of it all!]
Car:
Red 1997 Jetta, Trek Edition
Job:
Jr. Paralegal at Barnes & Thornburg Law Firm downtown
Marital status:
Single -- very single
Works out at:
Cardinal Fitness on Broad Ripple Ave.
Favorite bar:
Brothers right here in the Village
Favorite bar to spot Austin Collie:
Sullivan's Keystone Crossing or Bella Vita waterfront at Geist
Favorite musical group:
Anything on 101.9 RadioNow, I just love how they replay my favorite songs over and over and over and ...
Favorite Starbucks:
56th & Illinois, all my friends go there too.
Favorite Starbucks Beverage:
Extra Skim extra shot triple iced mocha, with three equals.
Favorite part of Austin Collie's body:
I just love his face, I wish all the rest of the men in BR had his face. Any men I find with such a handsome face end up being gay.
If I had Austin alone for 15 minutes, I would:
I would take him to the nearest tattoo parlor, have him autograph my body, and then have his signature permanently tattooed on me!
Why should Austin choose me over the rest of the Trixies?
I just don't know, I'm just so shocked that I made it this far. Austin, please please please choose me!
Dream marriage proposal scenario:
Austin would take me out to Oceanaire (downtown on Meridian near Barnes & Thornburg where I work). I've only been there once before, with a client, it was so fabulous. Austin would arrange with the wait-staff to have my engagement ring inside one of the clams that I would order for an appetizer (I just love those sooooo much). I would open it with one of those little clam pliers, and there it would be. I think I would break down in tears as I yelled "yes!...yes!...yes!" over and over. Then, Nathan Baker, one of the firm’s partners, would see me there (he loves to dine at Oceanaire with his clients) and promote me to Senior Paralegal!

60 Seconds with Kristen Parker-Elliott

Name:  Kristin Parker-Elliott
Society member since:  2005
Age:  28
Interview Location:  Starbucks at 56th & Illinois
Lives near:   49th & Illinois


BRTS:    So, Kristin, how long have you been a member of the Society?
Kristin:   I joined the Society back in 2005, after I broke up with Eric and moved out of his condo in Noblesville. My best friend Jenny O'Brien told me I should move to Broad Ripple, aka "Bars, Boys and Beyond"! When I first moved to Ripple, I met this total hunk from Geist and we started dating, but you know, I just knew he wasn't the "end all be all" for me. I mean, I almost ended up moving 20 miles east for him. He was nice and all, but he was obsessed with his lawn and anyway he got laid off from Lilly the next month so I guess it was fate.

BRTS:    So, you moved to the Village and found eternal happiness right away?
Kristin:  Well, it wasn't that easy, really. The TrixieMales were cute but at first I had a difficult time telling them apart.  I didn't want to jump into another relationship just so I would have a guy to show off and shut my Mom up.  There's this pressure, you know.  I dated around for 2 years before I finally met Tad Miller at the gym doing curls. He's a Purdue alum and I knew he was the one right away.  We got married in Maui last spring.
   
BRTS:    How has your Society membership helped you achieve your social goals in life?
BRTS:    Kristin?
Kristin:  Yeah, sorry. Uhh, what was the question again? Sorry, I thought I saw my best friend Melinda out the window over there with her new dog.  But I think her puppy is a chocolate lab, not that brown mutty-looking thing over there.
   
BRTS:    How has your Society membership helped you achieve your social goals in life?
Kristin:    Well, there's Tad for one.  Oh, I don't know. I think it's so empowering to finally realize that there are other girls out there that I can relate to, socially and demographically.  I'm not alone anymore, and that's really helped my confidence.  Once I realized I could step on toes and get away with nothing more than a smirky smile, it became much, much easier. I guess that's the same as everything in life... you do it once, and you can do it over and over. You kinda become a pro.
   
BRTS:    Well, that's a common thought among Society members. Where are you living now?
Kristin:   Brad and I just bought a new house over near the Food Emporium around 49th & Illinois, just down the block. There are lots of classic, really big houses over there. We couldn't afford anything like my Sunset Lane dream home, so we just got a two-story Tudor on one of those cute little side streets. I've been spending all my time and our money decorating over the past three months, and it's finally becoming such a cute place! I even learned to paint the walls myself! In fact, last week we held a cocktail party for Brad's boss. It was a big success and hopefully it'll keep him on the fast track!
    
   
BRTS:    Uhm, I thought you said your husband's name was Tad. Who is Brad?
Kristin:   Oh, his middle name is Bradley, so most of his beer buddies call him Brad. You see, he's a trader, so he comes home at about 3 o'clock and ends up drinking and chain smoking with his buddies at any one of the Northside Irish Pubs…. you know, places like Claddagh, Conners Pub or Union Jacks on Broad Ripple Ave.

BRTS:   That's good. Well, I was going to say, I admire you for hosting the cocktail hour you mentioned a minute ago. The Society always encourages Trixies to become friendly with each of their boyfriend or husband's managers and direct reports. It means so much in the long run for weaving intricate social connections into a web of trust, style and support!   
Kristin:    Yeah, I really think it's important to get to know your husband's boss. Trading is a cutthroat business with an uncertain future, and I think Tad knows how important it is to have someone special like me.  Image is important -- and he needs to come off as someone smart but down to earth.  That's why he bikes to work instead of taking our Land Rover Defender.  That's also what 90 minutes at Cardinal Fitness is for.  And with me at his side, no one will question whether Tad is repressed or bisexual. I have no problem with that, but it would be the kiss of death for him in the trading wars each morning.
   
BRTS:    I see you're back to calling your husband Tad. Which do you prefer anyhow?
Kristin:  Oh, whichever. I think they are both cute. Of course, Tad is a cooler name, but sometimes Tad himself says that by going by Brad, he can seem more like all of his buddies.  Blending in, that's what it's all about, right?
    
BRTS:    Right. So, right now you're 28, correct?
Kristin:  Yeah, I feel like I'm getting so old. But we've accomplished so much that I'm not really afraid of turning 30.  Though I really want to pop one out before then.
   
BRTS:    Pop one out?  Do you mean have a baby?
Kristin:  Yes, definitely. Everyone else has one of those things so why shouldn't we?  We've set aside the extra bedroom for a baby, and although Brad doesn't know it, I already had my Mom get my first SUV stroller from BabyBjorn online!  (Everyone back home in Louisville thinks it's a Go-Kart or a sulkie, ha ha!)
    
BRTS:    Well, Kristin, I think we should stop the interview now ... It's so good to hear another village success story.

• Back to the Trixie Lifestyle Guide

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60 Seconds with Our Membership!

Take 60 Seconds out of your day to catch up with a busy Society member (or other interesting individual) on the move!

The Trixie Society has many interesting and fascinating members darting about the Village picking up Starbucks double-cupped no foam Venti coffees, shopping at Fresh Market for organic fruits and designer vegetables, browsing at Restoration Hardware for industrial strength nickel-plated art deco alarm clocks, or popping into Frankeys for cute little dresses and imported newsboy caps.

Board Member Muffie Exeter-Rawlings interviews various Trixies and shares the fascinating results with you!

• Kristen Parker-Elliott

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Starbucks Demanding Names

Dear Ashley,

I noticed that the Starbucks in at the Fashion Mall has begun a disturbing new trend: they ask for your name when you order a drink, just so they can scribble it on a cup. Apparently this is to help the absent-minded barista keep track of several drink orders at once. But really, isn't that what they are paid to do???

Anyway, I think this is a really bad practice; I felt very odd telling my name to a cashier, just so everyone around me standing in line can hear my name. What if there is some kind of weirdo standing in line behind me??? Frankly, I think the people who work there just need to spruce up their organizational skills. Perhaps a nice Carnegie course would do them good ... then we revert back to the good old days when I could at least enjoy a double-cupped extra-whip skim soy latte in privacy.

Since when has Starbucks joined the government in intensifying it's information collection strategy anyway??? Next time I go to Starbucks, I expect them to publicly demand my social security number!

Also, as an advocate of Trixie Public Liberties, can the Society please do something about rude people working behind the counter at Starbucks?? Normally when I go to the Broad Ripple store at the corner of Guilford, there is this nice young lady with pony tails and a scruffy guy behind the coffee machine.. They are really nice, and sometimes they even remember my order. But on Sunday I stopped in before heading over to Restoration Hardware and Whole Foods, and there was a whole new crew of people working there, and they were totally rude (in addition to asking my name, etc).

Thanks Ashley!
Jill Jacobs



Dear Jill:

I completely agree with you! I think Starbucks should stop hiring angry misfits and start staffing their stores with qualified individuals. There are plenty of unemployed internet people with great experience in organizational behavior and operations. Better yet, hire MBA students from Purdue or Notre Dame to come in and run the latte production lines more efficiently.

I think they're already starting to do this at the Starbucks at 56th & Illinois. The other day I was visiting my friend Leslie and we saw the cutest little boy working at the Starbucks there! He was very tall and blond and stood out from all the other workers in the shop. I bet he's a 2nd year business student at Butler!

-Ashley

• Back to the "Ask Ashley" Column

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Concerned About Humble Beginnings

Dear Ashley,

Is it possible to join the Society if I came from humble beginnings? My dad was a mechanic and my mother was a housekeeper, but I managed to go to Yale and now I work downtown for a PR firm as an Account Manager.

I live in the village near 59th & Norwaldo.

Thanks for your help.
Bridget


Bridget:

The Society is a reflection of all the great things about America. We applaud the occasional member who may have come from families that do the sort of work we now hire out.

The fact that you have taken on such an admirable regime of self-improvement is enough for me to say you have what the Society wants in all our members: discerning taste and a realization that striving for the finer things in life makes our lives that much finer.

Besides, now that you are in our lovely Village and working at the prestigious PR firm you can discard your old baggage for something more along the lines of a Burberry overnight case. If you are ashamed of your background, you can always change the details to something more glamorous ("Daddy was in the oil business." -- Not altogether untrue, but it sounds very enviable and befitting your new-found Trixie status).

Good luck!
Ash

• Back to the "Ask Ashley" Column

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The Trixie Table - Ordering "Off-Menu" at Fast Food Restaurants

The Trixie Lifestyle often includes exquisite dining experiences and brushes with some spectacular alcohol. Our village and outlying Indianapolis neighborhoods are literally overflowing with options to feast on world-class cuisine, and chase it with some of the best-crafted wines, beers and spirits known to man.

I recently left my job as Senior Content Manager for a major consulting company to pursue the Le Cordon Bleu Culinary Arts Program at The Chefs Academy. I have always possessed a God-gifted palate, and I am so excited to share my extensive knowledge and experience with those of you who may not be so fortunate!

From time to time as my busy social schedule allows, I will review a Village restaurant or drinking establishment from the uniquely BRTS perspective and report my experiences back to you. Additionally, being a wine connoisseur, I will from time to time give you the low-down on the best wines for any occasion.

Bon Apetite & Cheers!
Rory

Latest Reviews:

Ordering Off the Menu at Fast Food Restaurants

Starbucks – The Red Eye

A cup of regular coffee with a shot of espresso dumped in?!? Now, I’m not a huge "regular" coffee drinker, but apparently you can even upgrade this to two shots, which is called a Black Eye.  I presume upgrading to three shots is called a Jumpy-Unblinking Eye? I would highly recommend getting creative. Dividends, people ... dividends!!

Ever had a Neapolitan milkshake from McDonald’s?

One where they layer the chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla flavors in the same cup, creating a thick, icy, slow-moving light-brown-swirls-with-pink-flecks taste explo-sensation? Yeah, my friend Chad was a regular customer of those. Of course, when he was working at McDonald’s as a teenager he got sick of the regular menu pretty quickly and started tinkering in the back like a mad scientist with his coworkers, developing exotic, unstable, and unpredictable meal creations with the ingredients on hand.

Yes, there were failed attempts, like the Chicken McNugget Flurry, but sometimes they struck gold and created a new off-the-menu line extension. I guess this is fairly common, because there are reports of online McDonald’s employee communities, where insider recipes such as the McBrushetta and McPancakeBatterFunnelCakes are shared.

Now, my world opened up when I first realized courtesy of Chad that you could order off-the-menu at fast food restaurants. Since that time I’ve learned about a few other secret options around. Like for instance:

Wendys - The Grand Slam

If the single, double, or triple hamburgers at Wendy’s just don’t cut it for you, just go all out and order the massive four-patty grand slam. Also known as the Classic Quadruple or the "Meat Cube".





McDonald’s – Fries with Big Mac Sauce

Lots of people put fries right on the burger, which I agree tastes delicious. But this technique allows you to switch things up a bit and put some of your burger’s best feature right on your fries. Try to ignore protests from your arteries, and just ask for that beautiful little cup of Big Mac Sauce on the side for dipping.





Long John Silvers – Batter Bits

I know a Trixie who was all over these. She’d lean in and guiltily ask in a hushed whisper and the guy behind the counter would nod slowly -- knowingly -- and hand over a wet, greasy paper bag full of all the batter drippings that fell into the oil by accident. Yeah, this is the bottom of the barrel of off-the-menu stylings. It ain’t always pretty out there.

Subway – The Pizza Sub

Apparently this one’s like Sasquatch ... there are scattered sightings everywhere and a few grainy videos that may or may not have been tampered with. Another favorite from Subway, though not technically a menu item, is simply ‘the old cut’, where they dig a trench in your bread instead of just slicing it, leading to better cold cut and veggie distribution. Also known for causing The Wing Effect, where your bologna hangs out the sides of your sandwich for some tasty pre-nibbles.

McDonald’s – Big Mac with Quarter-Pounder Patties

One last McDonald’s fixture — the ol’ bun-heavy Big Mac surgically altered to become a meat-heavy Big Mac with Quarter Pounder patties instead. Now you’re much less likely to get that dreaded All-Bun first bite.

Starbucks – The Short Cup

Even though the smallest size on the Starbucks menu is a ‘Tall’, they do offer a secret ‘Short’ size behind the counter. Perfect for that between-coffee-breaks coffee.

Now, I’m only one woman, so I’m sure there are hundreds of great off-the-menu gems that I’ve never heard of or know about. But that’s the beauty! There are all these little surprises just waiting to be discovered. What possible fast-food Mouth Love will we discover next?

Ordering off the menu at fast food restaurants is a great deal. Maybe you’re the loyal customer looking for that new taste. Maybe you have strict dietary restrictions so it’s either off-the-menu or no-menu-at-all. Or maybe you’re just a grumpy Trixie who makes flippant off-the-menu requests with a deep scowl and a foot-stomp.

But whatever the case, whatever your background, whatever your taste, I think we can all agree that it sure is nice getting a little something special for lunch now and then.

AWESOME!