Are Fishers Residents Eligible To Join?

Dear Ashley:

I can't tell you how excited I was to read that certain areas of Carmel were added to the Society's acceptable boundaries and since I live in Fishers which is near Carmel, I could be possibly eligible for membership.

Here is my question. Since I technically live in Fishers and not Carmel, but meet all other criteria, am I in?

Cait Atherton



Dear Cait:

Wow. You certainly dug through the old press releases to find the Carmel information! Unfortunately, Fishers is not currently in our plan. As many people say, Fishers is known for being Carmel's punk little brother. It simply does not fit into our lifestyle or plan at the moment.

But anyway...

As you know, most neighborhoods have changed dramatically over the years and continue to do so with the ebb and flow of social mores and the economy.

The Society redistricting committee is currently evaluating real estate and urban development trends in the areas around the Broad Ripple anchor village. Initial estimates hint that Fishers may have peaked some time a few years ago, and is again slipping into further decline.

You may want to look into moving to an approved part of Carmel or -- better yet -- Broad Ripple Village proper to increase your odds of gaining membership. That said, the official redistricting will not be made public until later this year.

Cheers!
Ash

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An Introduction to Preppy Style in Broad Ripple

By Super-Trixie Brooke Fletcher-Eaton

For some reason, when summer is just around the corner, my preppy gene kicks in high gear! I’m suddenly oohing-and-ahhing at every pair of Sperry’s and set of pearls in sight. Why, in the last three days alone, I’ve stopped myself from buying "The Official Preppy Handbook" three times. (What?!? It would make an excellent coffee table book!)

With my preppy-fever going strong, it shouldn’t surprise you that I fell in love with this look at first sight. It also shouldn’t surprise you that the photo for this cute little Trixie article was taken in Boston, Mass. It just has the perfect college town vibe -- possibly even Harvard. The fresh styling and casual feel make this the perfect outfit for you to try for spring. I encourage all Trixies to emulate this look.

Style Notes:

* Raid your closet. You probably already have a lot of preppy pieces. A basic oxford shirt in any color would work, and Sperry’s are a perfect substitute for the pricey Sebagos or Tod's driving loafers.

* Keep makeup light and feminine to offset the preppy/sporty vibe of this look. The oxford or Polo shirt and boat shoes have a masculine feel, so pearls and pink definitely add balance as well.

* Note that any cardigan should be tucked into a skirt, which is totally unexpected, but gives a really clean look. You could try this with other outfits as well: I think it would look great with a classic straight-leg jean and a colorful statement-making belt -- (stay away from the fabric whale belt however).

* If you’re looking for a perfect bag to complete your look as you pop into the Broad Ripple Starbucks, try a vintage Dooney & Bourke for a fantastic pop of color, or a well-worn Coach bag or 1980's tan, red and green Gucci.

Any Trixie perfecting this look is welcome to a few pints on me at the Wellington. Just tell them Brooke Fletcher-Eaton sent you!

Toodles,
Brooke Fletcher-Eaton

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Distressing Trouble With Southside Starbucks

Hello Ashley!

I went down to Greenwood on the Southside this weekend and tried to order a Venti Latte. They were so confused, that I finally had to show them the cup that I wanted them to use for my Latte. Uggggh!

Are people just slower in Greenwood? Or are they just not as multi-cultural as we are in Broad Ripple? I normally would not have visited the Southside, but I had a client appointment for work and they insisted I come to their office. I was previously reluctant to go and now that I have experienced the Southside I may just have to drop this client. The business we receive from them is just not worth the trouble.

Best,
Traci

P.S. Love B Ripple!


Dear Traci:

I've experienced the same problem on the rare occasion when I've ventured to the Southside. I don't think Greenwooders are slower, their brains are just wired oddly, and they speak a different dialect from Broad Ripplers like us.

You see, after brunch at the Cafe Patachou, I love to fill up with another Venti before I hit the shopping circuit. One time, the Starbucks at Guilford & Broad Ripple Ave had a line out the door, so I stopped off at that "alternative" coffee shop, the Monon Coffee Company place on Westfield. They didn't understand any part of my order. The order-girl (who had purple hair and wore overalls) looked at me like I was speaking that Cirque d'Soleil gibberish! I finally had to settle for a "large" soy Latte.

Try not to get upset next time. Just try to appreciate the cultural diversity that our city has to offer!

- Ash

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Finding the Perfect Trixie Apartment

Okay. You've just graduated with a Business Degree from one of the fine Midwestern State Universities, or perhaps even a prestigious Catholic College like Notre Dame or Xavier, and you're moving to Indianapolis. (Where else would a young, self-motivated, independent woman move anyway?) Your dilemma: discovering the best way to find an apartment in Indy befitting your taste and soon-to-be new found status. Unfortunately, the only situation that brings the Trixie to the brink of panic -- besides misplacing her loofah scrub -- is finding a new apartment or house to rent. Should one look in the Star? Should one use Nuvo? Perhaps ApartmentGuide.com? Should you spend 75% of your monthly income on rent....?!?!?

Whew!!!! It's all just so darn frustrating, isn't it? Well, the Broad Ripple Trixie Society is dedicated to removing the tiring task of thought from the Trixie's daily routine. Our board members got together one Sunday at Binkley's on College at Kessler; over our three hour brunch with Mimosas and spicy-no-pickle Bloody Marys we compiled a list of vital Apartment Hunting Questions. These questions were promptly distributed to our tasteful and well-groomed membership via email. Below you will find the answers submitted by our busy Trixies. For your convenience, we have ordered the questions and answers numerically in order of importance.

1.) Where is the apartment located? The number one concern of Trixies polled was the location of the apartment in question. Luckily, the BRTS has been generous enough to expand its borders; however, the true Trixie will hear the Call of the Village and try her utmost to establish residence within the "Golden Borders." Nora, Rocky Ripple, Meridian Hills and Williams Creek will suffice; they all contain cute pre-War homes, several trendy restaurants and they are close to a Starbucks but they're "Neighborhoods On The Move" and most Trixies prefer "The Neighborhood That Has Arrived": Broad Ripple. There is simply no substitute for the sweet tang of cash and attitude found in the Broad Ripple air.

2.) Is it near an authentic Pub? This question mattered big time to our membership. Chances are, if it's in Ripple, it's within walking distance of a great Pub. First and foremost, it is very important for meeting potential husbands and boyfriends. Randy young Chads come to Pubs to get drunk on $1.50 Lite beer, wear baseball caps, and look at your legs. What a blessing! Secondly, the Pub is the brain, spinal column and testes of the vital neighborhoods within Broad Ripple. The Pub sponsors a welcoming forum for Trixies to gather with other Trixies after work, order only the finest and most expensive vodkas and gins in your cranberry and tonic-based drinks, and watch your alma mater college teams fail in various televised playoffs. Finally, the Pub provides a place where you may drown your sorrows in alcohol. After Becka, your roommate and "best friend," steals your real estate lawyer boyfriend, you'll find the Pub bar staff extremely understanding and supportive in your time of need.

3.) Do successful-looking men live in the neighborhood? (See number 2 above.)

4.) Is the building pet friendly? Apartment buildings which accept pets are very important. An active Trixie must have a pet, preferably a large dog--either a black lab, golden retriever or, for the truly independent Trixie, a Rhodesian Ridgeback. We name our dogs after Indianapolis landmarks (Ayres, Butler, Riley, Irvington or Kessler) or our favorite drinks (Bailey, Cosmo(politan), Belevedere.) We're just creative that way!! Cats are acceptable but dogs are much preferred: what better way for a Trixie prove her busy professional status than by hiring a dog walking service to take precious Sambuca down to the Canal twice a day? Preferably, the ideal pet-friendly building will have a nice grassy strip directly in front of the door. This allows the Trixie to "walk" the dog on cold winter evenings by letting the beast out through the door via Extend-o-leash; meanwhile, the Trixie stands warm and safe inside the foyer among the dried flowers and glazed vases from Cost Plus. The grassy strip also acts as a convenient repository for dog "nuisance." A true Trixie never touches poo.

5.) How big is the apartment? Here is a toughie. Obviously, larger would be preferable but ultimately floor space is irrelevant as long as it is within the confines of Broad Ripple. Luckily, Trixies have few personal interests inside the home such as painting, writing, sewing or anything that would require extra space. What precious extra floor space we do possess, however, we are willing to sacrifice to large entertainment systems and treadmills. A Trixie needs very little personal living space. We are slender, elf-like creatures after all!! Likewise, the type of apartment is irrelevant: garden apartment, crowded coach house or non-air conditioned studio on the top floor of a four-story walk up. It simply doesn't matter as long as it's in Broad Ripple!!

6.) What is the rent? Without exception, the Trixies polled felt this should be the least of your concerns. Rent should be provided for by a Trixie's husband/boyfriend or parents. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case: many Trixies are forced to temporarily support themselves until better opportunities arise (i.e. an investment banker, trader, trust fund, etc.) This is where you might have to bite the golden bullet. $900 a month for a studio may seem like a lot of money but think about the benefits; status, being seen, blissful homogeneity, sushi -- the list is endless. Simply use your credit cards as a safety raft to float you to the nearest Island of Financial Security!

Understandably, some Trixies working entry level jobs at Bank One or Simon & Associates find living solo too much of a financial burden. In this situation, we recommend moving in with several Trixie roommates. Old high school friends and sorority sisters will suffice, as will work acquaintances. Regardless of personal habits, attempt to choose roommates who look as much like you as possible. This will practically guarantee someone will meet a cute financial analyst at the local Pub (see number 2 above.) The density of Trixies Per Apartment (the TPA ratio) varies upon the number of bedrooms. The following guidelines are BRTS tested and approved but please feel free to use your own exquisite judgment: two Trixies can live harmoniously in a studio, up to three Trixies and one large dog in a two-bedroom, and four to five Trixies and two large dogs in a three-bedroom. While some would consider these living arrangements unacceptable, a Trixie is a trooper; living in such conditions allows one to practice tolerant, fake smiles, the theft of contact lens solution and the gratuitous use of the term "best friend" when referring to your roommates. But all Trixies must remember: the real estate in Broad Ripple is obviously worth it. Otherwise it wouldn't be so expensive. If you wanted larger bedrooms and fewer than three roommates, you'd live in more dangerous neighborhoods like Irvington or Fountain Square.

The board members, and the Society at large, sincerely hope this guide helps you chose the most geographically prestigious, if not the most comfortable, apartment possible. And one final tip for the apartment-seeking Trixie: often Trixie-approved buildings have a TrixieStar discreetly placed somewhere on the facade -- in a stained glass window above the door, in the Terra Cotta architectural details, or even carved into the bole of a tree out front with a Jetta key. Keep your eyes open!! We wish you the best of luck!

How Can I Start a Trixie Chapter in My Own Town?

Dear Ashley,

I live in Stilton, Arkansas. How can I form my own Trixies Club, right here in my hometown of 812 people? Unfortunately, we don't have a Starbucks within 300 miles of us, but we do have a Circle K. Most of the people here drive pick up trucks. Do those work in this society?

Please advise. Thanks!
Mary Jo Mazurek


Dear Mary Jo,

Thank you so much for taking the time to write to the Society. I mentioned your e-mail to another member over lunch today, and we were both touched by your ambition to create a fabulous social club in your small little town.

Please note that we are a society, not a club. In addition to the sense of belonging a society provides, we strive to support our members and promote the uniquely wonderful Broad Ripple beliefs and lifestyles.

With that in mind, I have suggested that the Society lobby our Village Council member to create a sister city, much like many towns do with small African or Eastern European villages.

I would recommend that the Broad Ripple example could do much to end some of the poverty and sense of abandon I gather that Stilton must endure.

Before I contact the Council member, however, I just want to make sure that Stilton hasn't been adopted by a more fortunate city or town elsewhere. As I'm sure you can understand, we need to cover all our bases before we can give the Society endorsement.

Thank you again for your sweet message. By the way, my accountant Jay keeps a pickup truck at his Lake Wawasee getaway for hauling the Ski-Doo. Though I wouldn't recommend driving a pickup in our Village, I am sure in yours it looks so quaint!

Sincerely,
Ashley Tucker-Stansfield

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Society Member Kristin Harris Reports Uncomfortable Situation at ATM Machine

Thursday October 16, 2008 -- 5:50 PM

An incident was reported today by Society Member Kristin Harris.

Ms. Harris reports that she was stared down by a strange-looking man after withdrawing cash at the 5th 3rd Bank ATM on Broad Ripple Avenue between the McDonald's and Fed Ex Kinko's. "The man stared at me for a long time. It made me very nervous," Kristin told police. "He then got in his dumpy little car and pulled into the McDonald's drive-thru. I don't think he belongs in Broad Ripple. I've never seen him before and he appeared seedy and dangerous."

Jenny Forbes, who was driving past on the street with several friends after having cocktails at La Jolla on the outdoor deck with twelve coworkers also reported that she witnessed the strange looking man staring Kristin down. "We need to stick together," Ms. Forbes said. "If we are not vigilant, Broad Ripple could turn into something like the West Side .... and that's a sad situation."

Further details will be reported on this disturbing case as they develop.

A police report was filed in this incident.

Don't Go to the Bathroom Today!

To All Trixies:

“Don't go to the bathroom on August 6th!!! CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who takes a poop on the 6th may be bitten on the ass by Terrorist Alligators. Reports indicate that organized groups of Fundamental Terrorist Alligators (FTAs) are planning to rise up into unsuspecting American's toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business.”

Ashley, I usually don't send emails like this, but I got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin's uncle is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hot dogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy at Nordstrom who shines the shoes of a mail room worker who has a friend who works in the CIA building.

He apparently overheard two guys talking in the bathroom about alligators and came to the conclusion that we are going to be attacked. It certainly must be true because I could find no reference to it NOT being true on Snopes.com.

Debby Mulcahey
Indianapolis


Dear Debby,

Are you sure this is really true? Well ... better safe than sorry ... that’s my motto. I will pass this warning on to our Trixie Constituents for review, and to all of my best friends over gossip at Starbucks on Saturday morning.

-Ashley

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